Financial Dominatrix

I am ready to anything to get Kim back. She is coming to dinner tonight after leaving when she caught me wearing her panties and wanking. Princess Jennifer says i have to be ready to offer her total control and that is exactly what i am planning to do. I have bought a chastity belt and i will be offering Kim the key. I only hope i can broach the subject in the right way!

I decided to have one more go about my birthday but i wish i hadn’t now. I thought if i got her in a good mood i’d prepare the ground for raising the subject again. On Saturday she’d been out as usual, this time with Russell, leaving me in on my own brooding. So on Sunday i cooked her her an elaborate meal, bouught some expensive wine, lit candles for the table etc. It was a really good evening and we talked and laughed and got on really well. I wouldn’t let her do anything, i did all the clearing up and let her put her feet up. When I came back in she was sitting on the sofa, she’d kicked her shoes off and was watching TV. I sat at her feet, watching with her, massaging her feet as i did. WHen i paused for a second she said ‘don’t stop, that’s really nice’. I was getting excited now and I thought maybe if i played my cards right….
Her skirt had ridden up and i kissed up the inside of her thighs slowly until i was kissing her through her panties. She loved that and raised herself slightly so i could slide them down and soon she was pressing down on the top of my head while i used my tongue on her. Then her mobile went. I was still down between her legs but i could hear some of what she was saying. ‘I was just thinking of you,’ she said and then giggled. ‘Yes I enjoyed it too.’ Then a pause. ‘You know I’d like that.’ Another pause. “I wish i had you here now.’ Another pause. Another giggle. ‘And i have got to get up for work tomorrow.’ After arranging to see him again she rang off then pressed down on my head urging her on. All the time I was doing it, even as I made her come, i was thinking about the call. It must have shown in my face when i got up again. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Don’t be like that. That was wonderful. I’ve had a lovely evening.’ I tried to smile. ‘It was only Russell,’ she said. ‘Saying what a great time he had last night.’ She reached out and kissed me on the cheek. What could I say now? I want to bed frustrated.

I have been agonising for weeks how to ask her. Then last night we were lying in bed cuddling up and she asked me: ‘Any idea what you want for your birthday?’ My mouth went dry and my heart was racing. My big chance. My cock got hard and she felt it pressing against her. She smiled and said ‘what do we have here?’ and reached down and took it in her hand and it felt so amazing i was afraid i was going to get over-excited. ‘I want to make love to you,” i said. She laughed and squeezed my cock harder. “You do all the time with that wonderful tongue of yours,” she said. “i know, i just meant…” I said. “It’s ok, I know you  want to fuck me too,” she said. My hopes were really up now – then down. ‘That’s why i love you,’ she said. What the hell did she mean? ‘I know you want to but you won’t push it.’ I won’t? What did she mean? ‘Because you know you can’t satisfy me that way – you could put it inside me but it wouldn’t be making love would it?’ What was i meant to say to that? Luckily i didn’t have to answer. Instead I felt her hand press gently on my head, pressing me down the bed.

I could write reams and reams about how frustrated I am feeling right now. My birthday is coming up soon. Surely she has got to let me then?
In the meantime Nick Cave expresses how I feel much better than me.

I know in hindsight it’s stupid but I really had my hopes up for Valentines. It’s one of the few times a year – Christmas, New year, my birthday are the others – when i think maybe, just maybe my luck might be in. The early signs were promising. We talked the day before and agreed we’d have an evening in and that I would cook a nice meal. I was already feeling better about things since Princess Jennifer had predicted I would be spending valentines on my own and i was afraid she knew something i didn’t. What i wasn’t quite prepared for though was the explanation. Three arrived in the post, deflating the start to my day, and when she got home and i told her she said ‘oh god, not more’ and pulled another handful out of her bag. All in all I reckon she had eight or nine. Me, obviously, the two men she’d told me about but who were the rest from. ‘Oh, people from work mostly,’ she said. ‘There’s even one i haven’t got a clue who it’s from.’ ‘Must be flattering,’ I said. She smiled at that and laughed. ‘It’s the most I’ve had since i was at school,’ she said.

The evening went well. She loved the dinner (good, since I’d spent all afternoon cooking it) and i made sure to ply her with lots of wine. We were getting on so well i asked her the question that had been bugging me all day. “I was sure you were going to tell me you had other plans for tonight,” I said. She smiled. ‘I wanted to spend it with you,’ she said and she kissed me. “What about…’ I began. She smiled. ‘They can wait,’ she said. ‘It’ll do them good. I told them I was spending it with you.’ That shouldn’t have surprised me, her telling them about me, but it still did somehow. ‘It was the only way to shut them up about why i wasn’t spending it with them.’ ‘When you say them…” I asked. She laughed. ‘Well there’s Simon you know about…and Russell?’ I nodded. But it was clear there were potentially others.
When we’d finished eating i suggested leaving the wasking up and having an early night. My heart leapt when she said yes. I took her into the bedroom and she let me undress her. I kissed her all over and I really thought i was getting somewhere. I undresed in seconds and started kissing her again, rubbing myself against her. I whispered how much i wanted her. “I do too,’ she said. ‘Just not like that ok?’ I felt completely deflated. I had hoped for so much and I must have shown it in my face. ‘Oh, come on, don’t be like that,’ she said. “You know there is one thing you can do for me.’ She put here hand on my head and pushed it downwards. And that’s how i spent the next hour. I know she enjoyed it, she kept telling me how amazing i was, but somehow it wasn’t quite the same.

I wasn’t surprised when she called the next day to say she would be out that night. Princess Jennifer was right but out by a day.

Things are much better now we are talking again. Kim keeps coming back to that article about Sarah and Ben. It’s actually a very negative article typical of the Daily Mail but for Kim it expresses exactly how she feels. The way she explains it she’s always felt attracted to other men, no matter who she’s with, but tried not to act on the attraction and ended up feeling trapped. She feels liberated to be with someone like me who realises how she feels and that means she can see other people without feeling slutty. At new year she asked me what i thought of Ben and Sarah. I said i thought Ben probably wasn’t that happy about it but he loved Sarah and wanted her to be happy. While we were talking she took hold of my cock and started rubbing it. She’s been doing that a lot lately. ‘Do you think Ben was, you know, small?’ she said. I could not believe she asked that. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘What makes you say that?’ ‘Just a feeling, I got reading between the lines,’ she said. Given the lines Princess Jennifer has had me writing lately i thought for a horrible moment she’d meant them but Kim quickly moved on. She said she thought the mistake Sarah made was moving someone in. ‘I think she was just asking too much of Ben,” she said.

Kim has been going on about this article and made me read it while we were in bed last night

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=421032&in_page_id=1879

It’s about a woman who loves her husband but feels trapped and wants to see other men but doesn’t want to lie about it, then reads an article about another woman, Sarah, who leads a polyamory lifestyle. Suddenly it all makes sense for her and after months manages to persuade her husband Ben to have an open marriage. She then proceeds to cuckold him (though she doesn’t use the word) and even move a lover into their home. Kim was very excited to read about someone who felt similarly to herself and insisted i read it so we could talk. I must admit i was shocked to read about another man in my position, who would put up with the woman he loves seeing other men because he loves her and wants her to be happy. While I was reading it Kim ran her hand down to my cock so that by the time i finished i was hard as a rock, so excited that I must admit I skipped over the bit where Ben is so unhappy he leaves. Kim went on about how that needn’t happen to us and that we would still have an intimate relationship and we could cope, all the time playing with me. Then she started telling me about the man she met at her office Christmas party two nights before (when she didn’t come home). It seems as though the long conversation we had before has cleared the air and she told me in quite some detail. Before I could answer she moved her hand faster and faster till i came.

It took a conversation with Mistress Jennifer to make me realise that me and Kim haven’t been communicating properly. Everything since last year has been by nods and winks rather than really talking about it. I know that she has backed away from openly being unfaithful and she knows i accept that she needs more than i can offer her. On Saturday night we talked properly for the first time in ages. I initiated it by talking about Friday, when she didn’t get back till 3am. I said i realised she was probably with someone else and i didn’t mind that but what i did mind was not knowing where she was because i get worried about her. She seemed pleased by that, as Mistress Jennifer predicted she would be. ‘I thought you just didn’t care ,’ she said. I told it was just the opposite. ‘Don’t you get jealous?’ she said. I said of course i did, madly jealous, but i also realised that if i really loved her i have to live with it. She smiled at that and told me she loved me and that she was lucky to have me and that not many men would understand the way i did. We kissed and we talked more. I asked her why she’d backed away from seeing other people. She said she hadn’t backed away just become more discreet about it. She said she thought it was unfair rubbing my nose in it as she had done before and that she didn’t like what it had done to her either. That puzzled me and she said she had got scared of the way she enjoyed flirting openly in front of me, and how humiliating me made her feel more desirable but how she hated lying and saying i was her flatmate and she thought she was jeopardising everything that we had by doing it. She told me she knew i was the one i wanted to be with and even though she needed other lovers i was the one she always wanted to come back to. “Even though i can’t satisfy you?’ I said. “Of course you can,” she said. ‘Just not in that way. Have you got any idea how jealous my friends get when i tell them about that tongue of yours?’ I finished the evening demonstrating that again to her. I feel so much better that we talked.